Hello all,

Well I have well and truly lost my sanity! I have made some very large life decisions since my last post, So I feel it best to tell you.

Stress is not good for you. I have discovered that when you are a certain age for me +30 and I'm not giving anymore away, you start to have strange things happen to you like the sweating phase. Oh my dear days.....they are horrendous, and I've been well informed by my doctor that they are not the M word, but in fact stress related. Well...If that's whats to come and it can chuffing stay in the future. If it is stress then I need to find a way of not being so stressed. So....I came up with a list of things I can do to simplify my life:

1. Get rid of the husband.
2. Sell a child that claims to be my daughter.
3. Ignore all member of my immediate family - in fact any relation whatsoever.
4. Have a foot massage everyday.
5. Claim benefits and or work from home.
6. Start a brewery.

Working logically through the above list - I can not get rid of the husband. Several reasons, mainly the fact that number 4 would be impossible to fulfill unless I pay for it - something I would need a job and or benefits as discussed in number 5. Despite his being a man, he is my soul mate so number 1 might not be an option.

As for number 2, as much as I love my beautiful daughter, having an 8 year old going on 18 is hard work. When us parents decided to become parents or in our case thrown in at the deep end, we vow to keep this person safe and secure and to teach them the ways of the world. Saying that its one of the hardest most stressful jobs i have ever experienced. Everyday is a curve ball, you just don't know what is going to happen next. This in itself makes the stress levels high, so number 2 on my list i really can not do anything about. In fact nor do i want to, I love her.

So that leaves number 3.
If only life was as easy as getting rid of the family. Is there a switch someone can invent that turns family on and off? Don't get me wrong I do love my family but man do they do your head in at times. Mum is now one step closer to getting a diagnosis of some sort. The neurologist has confirmed that there is definitely something wrong with her brain, but its not the posterior part its the top of her head, so he spoke about different types of Alzheimer's but wouldn't put a label on it just yet. So, we have to go for a PAT scan and more physiological tests to see what part of the brain has been affected. We've also been fr her ESA Assessment to see what group they put her in - The working group or the none working group. It's only been six months since we have applied so hopefully things will start moving in the right direction. I don't think I will be getting rid of certain parts of my family that easily, in fact it may get worse over time, so i think I just might opt for the holidays without family!
 - Booked two weeks in Cornwall! Cottage by the sea with some nice clean and quiet fresh air!

Number 6.
Haven't a clue even to where to start so might just starting going to bargain booze and doing some market research.

Morning!

Morning,

Well its been an horrendous few days...Sickness at the beginning of the week, ending the week with diarrhea. Not pleasant, and I feel exhausted so no energy to do anything.

I have plans this evening but not sure how I am going to muster up the energy to even get dressed let alone go out and be all happy and friendly. This week has not been a peoples week. I have not been in the mood for talking or playing happy. Not that I am not happy but you know sometimes your just not in the mood for people. I am the person that always talk to everyone, has a smile on her face and kindly asks "how are you?". This week I have just not been able to be happy. Everyone has got on my nervous and I felt so angry at everyone. I shouted at my Mum yesterday, she called me after getting a letter about her benefits, she was just being so negative that I ended up shouting at her. She went all silent on me and then said quietly "don't shout at me", just to make me feel bad. I did however apologize and all was well on the mother front. I just think I need to stay away from situations that are going to make me angry and stay away from as many people as possible at the moment.

Sheldon this week has been funny, almost like her knows I'm not feeling myself. He's not left my side! This is a picture of him on the bed yesterday morning....

How cute!! He's going to the vets this morning for his second lot of vaccinations.

While I've not been well, I've managed to watch lots of american drama and one thing has really stuck out for me that is how many people in the states are into counseling. Is this something that us Brits need to do? I know lots of people including myself that could do with counseling.

Maybe this is my therapy?

Oh dear - Its all I can say

Well...I'm sorry I haven't been active for a few days...I've been ill.

I had my infusion last week at the hospital and then got a sickness bug. By my own admission I am not a very good vomiting person, so much so that I think I pulled my back out while trying to stop myself vomiting! On the plus side....I lost 4 1/2 lbs at slimming world so feel back on track - yes I haven't eaten for a few days and most likely didn't keep any calories down. Traumatic experience I must say but it had a silver lining as they say.

It also meant I have had another 2 days off work which I am so not happy about. It means I've been off sick twice in the last month....I haven't been off sick in the last 5 years! I just hope they don't hold it against me.

As promised I was going to upload some photos of the cat...now I've worked out the best way of doing it!

On another note, my mum has finally decided that she needs to sell the car, she told me after confessing to hitting another cars wing mirror which I think gave her the wake up call that there is something going on in her brain and that it the Doctor was completely correct in advising her not to drive. (paused) I just had to look at my previous posts to check I had informed you of the goings on with the mother!

There is a sad note also, my mother in law lost her beautiful westie this week, a huge loss as she was such a lovely dog.

Can I ask you a question? I'm new to this blogging and I wanted to know do people use real names or do they use aliases? What about pictures? Do you add pictures of the kids or people?

Part 1 of my Day at the Spa

Well, as part of my treatment for rheumatoid arthritis, I spend 2 days in hospital twice a year for an infusion of Rutiximab. My miracle cure. Pre treatment I wasn't working and unable to do a lot of things, so now can live a fairly normal life.

I call it my day of the spa - Is it strange that i look forward to it?

6 hours of drugs pumping through my veins ensuring that I will feel better. Bring on the next few months of normal activity.....

So just to update all my readers! We had the mad idea of finally decorating Lilly Mai's bedroom - the only house in the room not decorated. So Jim and I said "right bits at a time and we will get her room done". 5 days later and we've repainted the ceiling, wallpapered the walls, put new curtains up, pulled the old laminate floor up and replaced it with new flooring and sold her day bed and replaced with a loft bed with desk (courtesy of Ikea). So what started as a small slow project has ended up taking up a week of our life, and turning the house upside down.

I've realised in all this process that I can not cope with mess, or change! It has literally done my head in. The mountain of ikea boxes, instructions galore and sore figures from making all the flat pack furniture up. Who ever invented flat pack - I want to kill them.

Also Lilly Mai had a major hissy fit this morning telling us she wasn't well when in fact she just didn't want to go to school. Poor Jim left her with the head teacher crying her eyes out and saying "no Daddy...don't leave me!" It turns out that she is still having issues with one particular little girl picking on her. This little girl has been in her class since nursery, and every year since we seemed to have problems with her, but now the girls are 7/8 years old, it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Why are some girls so horrible? It breaks my heart and makes me want to just take her out of school but don't want to make her more anxious as lets face it...life is full of nasty people and its about learning how to deal with them.

Its also weigh in today, and although I've not been as naughty as the last few weeks, I managed to lose 2lbs. I feel a little more in control and look forward to another loss next week, so will keep you posted on progress.

Day Two

So today has been an interesting day...I've been busy at work all day despite the fact I am meant to be on Annual leave. Does anyone else do that? If i'm honest with myself, I actually don't mind...I appreciate the break from being a mum. I know that sounds crazy but that's my way of keeping sane.

On top of a busy day at work, I also had to face another matter...The dreaded weigh in. My usual day for weigh in is a Monday afternoon, but decided that this monday i just could face it. Sugar had got the better of me and I was eating the stuff in spades - anything sweet I could get my hands on and it was gone! Then the guilty feeling start and it just got worse. I am please to advise you however, that I faced the scales today instead. A maintain. Not bad considering. So trying to forget about my sugar mishaps over the last 48 hours, and trying to get back on plan...

On a brighter note, I caught the cat earlier stalking Lilly-Mai's hamsters...I will add photo when I can upload it.

Welcome!

Hi and Welcome to my new blog.

I'm fairly new at this although I did try it a few years ago, I enjoy writing and so thought I would try again.

I'll start with a little about myself - I'm married...have a 8 year old little girl who makes me laugh everyday. I have two sisters, one older and one younger..so yes I'm the middle one. I have an older brother who lives in Birmingham and he has 4 children (3 boys and 1 girl). I moved to Yorkshire when I got married 14 years ago, and although I am proud of being a brummy, I would never move back. I love Yorkshire.

I lost my father in 2004 to a brain tumor. My mum now lives in Yorkshire and has been struggling with memory problems which are currently under investigation by a Neurologist. My husband, Jim's parents also live in Yorkshire and are also suffering the affects of old age, however I love them all the same and have a fabulous relationship with them. In fact, my father in law is very much a Victor Meldrew type, and makes me laugh everyday! I promise to share the funny stories.

Life isn't easy...I have health issues including Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosed at a very early age, I'm not in anyway a motherly type person, suffered with depression in the past and still take sanity pills. I work part time and run a small business from home - my way of keeping myself sane. I'm a long standing Slimming World member and will often refer to my weight loss journey..I am a Sugar Holic and having lost 2 stone since July 15, determined to carry on and get to target this year!

(www.slimmingworld.com)

I hope to cover all types of topics in my blog including religion, life in general, the strange world of addiction, dieting and anything funny that happens.

I hope to share sad moments, intimate life moments and the moments that just make you laugh. I intend to share pictures and video's where possible, but I am conscience of keeping peoples anonymity so will do what I can.

I would love to hear your comments and thoughts.

Signing off AM.